i haven’t written much lately but now that i have free time i suppose i’ll write a couple of sentences.
i usually don’t go on tumblr much anymore; mainly when i’m feeling down and would like to get my mind off of things. but this time i got on after a week or two of feeling…empty. everything around me just felt so unreal. every word i said, every word i heard, every thing i tasted, every single thing that i felt or touched i had to question. i questioned my relationship and my ability to succeed in anything; i questioned every little thing down to whether or not i should even get up in the morning. sometimes i would just sit there, not even remembering what i was thinking about, and cry. it got to the point where i just realized that i was feeling this way because i was scared and unsure. unsure of the goals that i will be able to achieve, as well as the goals that i will achieve with the people that surround me. i get my hopes so high for the future, but when one negative event occurs, it disrupts my entire train of thought. i begin to think about everything, especially my future, in a negative way. yesterday was when i began feeling better. i became 100% sure about everything that i used to be afraid of. the reason why i was able to do so is my wonderful boyfriend. and i don’t even think he knew what i had been stressing about for so long.
i asked Rhys, “do you ever stop to think how our future will be?” any girl would hope to hear her love say that their future will be amazing, then give a whole bunch of details about how they’re going to get married and have a happy, long life together. instead, he told me that he doesn’t think about the future. he said, “i’ve learned to live now. why think about what will happen in the future when you can make the most out of what you have now?” with this tiny conversation, Rhys made the terrible feeling that i had go away in an instant. i realized that he was absolutely correct. why take your time thinking about the possibilities of the future when you can fully take in and appreciate what’s standing right in front of you?
what i have standing right in front of me is someone who loves me; he looks out for me every second of the day, he has as much trust for me as i do for him, and he makes me happier than anyone else could possibly make me. i’m never letting him go. Rhys is my best friend; i know that he will always be by my side and will always return to me after a long trip away. he sticks to his word and he is the reason i’ve been able to keep my head up so high. i don’t know exactly how happy i will be in the future, but if i stay with him i know i will always be happy. if Rhys and i keep things the way that they are right now, taking everything one at a time, we’ll get through anything. i’m sure that we will.
In a matter of hours on Friday, Typhoon Haiyan completely devastated parts of the central Philippines. It was one of the strongest storms ever recorded. The death toll is estimated up to 10,000 with hundreds of thousands more displaced. The country has declared a “state of calamity.”
To all our…